times they are a changing
10:14 pm on 07.06.05
hi there. remember me? i always think im coming back, and then i disappear. i've decided to stop predicting, the future and worry about right now, this second instead. i could fall into some gap in time and totally gone tomorrow. crazier things have happened. it rained alot today. cleansing, and cooling and good. if i take a deep breath i can almost feel change in the air. good change. the shift. its right here right now. where it floats or crashes, in a million ways. its like im back at the end of this road that i've totally been down before. and i'm trying really hard not to trip over the same rocks i did last time. or wander off in that pricky bush. but it's not all that easy. and if it works out for me, it's gonna hurt someone else. and thats not really my field of expertise, or even the ballpark i like to visit. but there's no easy exit. you go for what you want. or just stay in the terrarium and don't grow any bigger, or change colors. its warm in there, and its safe, but its not that something, that you keep looking through the glass for. but really. thats getting ahead of ourselves. that would be worrying about a future that isn't here yet, when i should just melt in the fuzzy glow of the present. stop and listen to the hum of right now. because it's been awhile. since that flutter. came around in my chest. and it feels good in that horribly wonderful way, that is all too often temporary. i guess it's wait and see, but smell the summer air while it's here. sometimes you just have believe that the good things can happen.
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