sometimes it feels like rocketscience
1:10 am on 01.13.06
what can i say. i have alot of thoughts and im shitty at expressing them. maybe its what i feel? maybe im being crazy? maybe it doesnt matter. its funny.. like after we met.. i thought you'd want to see me more. or something. like you were so very into me before. and now. maybe its not that you're not into me. but somehow you're not AS into it.. me.. whatever. maybe the thrill of the chase is gone? is your heather fascination over? hah. really. i wonder these things. because since we hung out.. i feel like im the one chasing you down. and its weird. and i keep thinking its a hint or something. maybe your heather fascination IS over. and if it is.. it's ok. i guess im having some internal battle lately like this is heading the way of the lance thing. also known as doomed. hah. and if it is.. id rather you just tell me straight out. game over. it was fun.. lets be just friends. i mean i always want to be friends. always. and i know we will be. because back in that other part of my mind that still believes in connections & dreams. the one like yours that knew i would show up that night. that part knows we always will be friends because we are both dreamers and it all does happen for a reason. or we wouldnt be here. you know? and maybe im just neurotic. and you havent gone crazy. and you still think im damn rad. and you secretly still want make out. and have me make you weird little art things just because it was a tuesday or something. haha. im pretty simple really. and i had really hoped to get to know you more this weekend. and no not just like *THAT* haha. but you know. connecting. relating. laughing. closeness. memories. maybe i AM pathetic. LOL. nah. i hated that you said that. because part of me fears that i am. its the opposite part to the one that knows im awesome. which i do know. i think we're both awesome. but im off track now. and what if i met you at that show saturday night? me. you. music. stolen kisses. people watching. winterness. these are some of my thoughts. and it didn't even cost 2 cents.
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