death of a dreamer its freezing and i have no hoodies left. none. i have this oversized adidas hoodie that goes over my head.. not a zipper like it should be.. and i only wear this when no ones looking. and its coming again. the need for an adventure.. the need to leave. the need to cause unneccesary trouble because it somehow makes me free. i dont want to cause trouble.. it just seems to happen.. because you cant move without letting someone down. but i dont know where to go.. or what i should do..in the back of my mind just going now seems right.. now before a new obligation starts or some other reality i dont want sets in. but my mind that my mom sits in and talks to.. i should just stay and finish school.. because hell everyone else did. and maybe i dont want to. because they did. and whats the rush anyways? last i knew the school wasnt going anywhere.. and me taking time off wouldnt kill anyone.. because i can always come back.. we've done that before..because im still here. and here is right where i dont want to be. but whats the plan? whats the next step? why cant someone let me live on their couch and draw under their dining room table? thats all i want. i want time to do things.. to make things.. with no strings attached.. no worries.. no fucking money. youre a dreamer heather youll probably die that way. * |