erased and done. i need to get this out because i want to be like him and just leave things forgotten in the past.. which i think is a horrible thing to say. you cant deny that things were said or felt and that at the moment those words hit air they mattered. you cant say that all the emails meant nothing. but maybe they didnt. because youre onto your next fling your next 'only person ive told i loved' that you never met. but youve met her by now im guessing. im pissed at myself for being naive and not listening to my inside voice that told me you and everything wasnt quite right. the part that knew all the girls youd been with but wanted to believe you and think i was different. i hate myself for ever getting out there believing in some dream you and i convinced each other of. i regret that i believed youd actually pay for half the ticket. i cant believe youve already latched on to somone new and that shes feeling what i felt and that she doesnt know its probably not true..you can forget the past but you cant forget that its shaped who you are. it didnt work and thats fine.. it was a mutual walk away.. but the fact that you wish to erase that i EVER existed will never sit well with me. you cant deny you felt something for someone just because it didnt work out. i cant make all my x boyfriends into air or dirt because we left. my vengeful side wants to run to this girl and warn her and push her away.. but thats not my stlye and it never will be. we all learn on our own. i did. and everyone before me did. goodfucking luck. to think we dont even talk..or that you dont even want me to exist as a friend or hell as a human. just admint im cool and youre cool and it didnt work. because in essence thats it. but dont erase me. because thats playing a coward. and i thought you were more than that. but i thought alot of things once.. and most of them werent true. |