blind map to nowhere. its almost 2am on another monday night. monday and tuesday with no work and no school.. i could get used to this. did i mention i went to the eyedoctor on saturday and found out the dmv is a crock of shite? oh yeah. i passed the damn drivers eye test with colors at the eye doctor.. take that dmv. so tomorrow i go back there and wave a form in there faces saying .. seee! seee! i can drive! im not blind.. and they will comply and print out my temporary license and send my old one off to oblivion. i use my license as validation for how cute ive gotten. hah. my license now has the worst picture of me known to man.. sure its from 5 years ago.. but still. i had badly bleached hair.. it was right when i came back from running away to utah..dont let boys bleach your hair.. no matter how much you love them.. i look angry. hah. i look at that and at least know im not that bad looking anymore.. life isnt *that* bad. * jamie and i went through 65 pages of gothic personal ads which served as some of the best comedic relief ever. i mean i love a well groomed goth boy as much as the next.. but some people.. you have to wonder. do they really wear all that chain mail to the grocery store? does he go to thanksgiving dinner dressed up like the crow? you gotta wonder. * im not sure whats going on anymore really. life is just trying to move forward.. im not sure where..and i have no clue how. but it goes on.. i was just reading some of my old entries which of course seem better than they are now.. im inbetween here and there. now and the future. stop thinking about the future and live now. i dont know why i cant. i live contradictions. i want the detailed map to the future but i want to live on the edge..in the moment at the same time. maybe i just want a glimpse of the map to know that i eventually get there..and then you can leave me to flounder my way. ill get there i promise. just stick around and be sure. * |