today. yesterday. and three years ago. the differnece a day makes.. the past two days have been pretty bad. well. in a tame internal sorta of depressed sense.. im the antichrist in friend land though.. well.. at least to ians friend who, being the most inconsiderate ass this side of the river, i dont like around. some people... you tell them youre busy.. they call back an hour later.. you tell them again. they call again. you turn off the ringers on both lines.. they show up at your door. theres no winning. needless to say, 3am josh shows up, im livid because ian cant stick up for himself, and underlying it all is joshs real reason for being here, being a warm bed, and some pot. soo, me being the antichrist put on my angry face to ian, who trys to give josh smokable things that i payed for.. so then ian being the creative talent he is.. goes into the other room arms flailing, saying.. dood you have to leave...shes pissed, etc. etc. so in the end, i, heathur, antichrist, also look like an ass. i didnt want him to leave.. i just wanted ian to stick up for himself.. if josh dearest had listened the first time.. and not come over... or maybe just came over at 3..and not called 8 times between 1 and 3.. then i wouldnt have cared so much.. but josh has a one track mind.. and he knew what he wanted to do, so he did it. and somehow ian gets to look like hes just following my hardass rules or something. pffft. i love having people here.. im all about it. but its called respect. when you tell someone.. 'not today'..it should be alright.. one fucking night. pfft. and josh.. josh just doesnt care.. i sacrifice and let him sleep in my room, and the next day i find all the polaroid film he used of mine.. or cups full of ashes and nasty shite.. it sounds petty in retrospect.. but fuck them. they keep me up all the time. but hey. that was two days ago.. ten buck says josh will be here tonight cuddling up under my powerpuff girl fleece-y blanket.. hrmph. and so on.. so yesterday wasnt a hell of alot better.. i woke up feeling like an ass for inadvertantly makin josh leave.. i felt unconnected and lost.. and i pretty much wanted to cry all day. then i got to go to work where asshole customers who know everything confront me.. bitch: "can i water these flowers for you" me: um.. no.. theyre fine bitch: well they are all dying you know..these..and those.. me: um.. ok. woman storms away... woman goes to service desk to tattle on me. she tells them that im sooo rude.. and how shes a florist, and she was just trying to help. HA! just trying to help.. her evil sarcastic tone wasnt helpful.. it was that of someone trying to tell me how to do MY job. i was like wtf? she never told me she was a florist.. she just laid into me.. and besides that.. id never think of going into any flower shop and being like.. 'hey you.. this is dying.. let me water it' who am i .. or her to tell anyone how to do their job.. grr. hah. the service desk girl who likes me..and gets to field all my complaints called me.. and was like.. 'just try.. try being nice to the customers' *snicker* never!!!! haha im so nice to people who deserve it. so there. ;p but anyways.. yesterday continued to drain me of any spirit i had left.. and the thought of today wasnt making it any better.. but i came home to sweet guestbook words and fight club postcards.. so its all good. im glad youre out there. today wasnt so bad.. joshs angry voicemails deleted and im born anew.. heheh. or maybe that tomorrow starts my week long vacation had something to do with it. maybe... just maybe.. i called my moms today.. because she emails me alot..and i occasionally forget to answer.. so i called. and what do you know.. my sister went ahead and got her lip pierced.. the other weekend we talked about it..and i told her she totally should, but that i couldnt go with her..because my mom wouldve taken that as some conspiracy theory..where i try to corrupt my sister into my evil piercing ways.. so today she tells me my sister did it..and i acted surprised..and i was like.. so what did you do? she says.. 'nothing.. well i think its foolish.. but what can i do?' i laughed loudly. i then brought my mom back about 3 or so years.. my first year of college out in san francisco i got my labret pierced.. i didnt tell my mom of course.. so she hadnt seen me in like 6 months.. i took a 4 day bus trip across the country to come home for the holidays and see her... i take one step towards her car. she looks at me.. glares.. gets in and slams the door. she leaves me standing on the curb with a shit load of luggage. she wouldnt even help me put it in the car.. she then proceeded to ignore me for somewhere between 2-5 days. all this because of a shiny little stud on my chin.. and what does my sister the renegade get???? nothing. absolutely nothing. no glares.. no ignoring.. and my sister still lives at home.. and she got no harrassment.. my mom laughed at me on the phone when i recanted the story to her.. to jog her memory of how mean she is to me. she laughed and told me thats the curse of being the first born. pffffft. i thought they were supposed to worship the first born. hehehe. im just glad i feel better today.. |