lame avoidance i feel like ive slept 90% of my day away yet not slept a minute at all.. its this autumn weather.. the truly crisp weather where all you want is to be in that comfortable warm spot.. i cant get out of it.. i get obsessed with it and just want to be warm.. ive had so much to say lately but not enough time to even write.. maybe i can recap.. but that loses all the specialness of me describing the moment.. but i guess its some or nothing.. so. so my hair is very dirty..and i love it. and i tried to break up with ian but somehow it twisted into us talking about our dads dying and tears and memories and missed hospital visits and no one broke up.. and i was pretty unhappy for a few days.. and i was stressing over today.. this mixed media project.. the one i put off till last night.. the one i got only two hours sleep so i could manifest it for today.. i shouldve taken a picture.. the critique was so nothing.. so nothing to be fearing.. just like a million critiques before it.. but i didnt have a meaning for this piece.. so i gave it a meaning..and i hate having to explain my meanings to everyone.. but i did.. and they got it mostly.. a bird nest made out of hair and wire veins.. roots.. broken egg shells and cages.. i liked it.. i should take more pictures. yikes. the moms is online.. im sureshell want to ask me 50 questions.. most of which ill have to reply no to. and her and jamie bonded over the weekend so when i called my mom she told me how wrong i was to be so cranky over jamie not coming up. grr. thanks mom not what i need to hear. any opinions conflicting with my own will be ignored! ;) its 9pm and the boy is attempting to fuck with the cable.. i forget what his point was.. but he wants a quality picture from our thrift store 2000 television! why does he always attempt these things when hes fucked up? if the stone cold sober cableman crashed through the chair a few weeks ago..whats stopping the boy form crashing to his own fetal positioned demise? achk. so many things i should write about.. im so avoiding it. i think its clear to me. i know my issues..i know the things i should talk about.. not about falling.. or drugs or cable. but it has to wait. because tomorrow is another long ass wednesday.. but its all downhill from there. lets just hope the good old hippie english teacher decideds to help me with the incomplete. or this chick is out two thousand bucks. hah. ill have soemthing to cry about then.. just another day. |