birthday blews i wasnt even tired two minutes ago..and now all i want is to be under the blankets..and maybe tonight the cat wont run over my face. maybe. and i was going to write a huge disortation on my relationship.. becuase it was my birthday..and he didnt even sign the card he gave me.. and for some reason it disheartened me.. and i wanted to cry.. and maybe thats because ive been cling-er lately because i want him to want me more.. because i secretly feel guilty.. because im crazy.. i think im actually fucked up.. who knows. so we fought today.. and im overly sensitive.. and it was my birthday andi got bitched at at work..and i couldnt find my tiarra.. *sigh* and its over now.. and someone complained at work because i was on the phone while wrapping their flowers.. god firbid. god forbid they put down their cell phones for me. my birthday no less. and maybe having a party wasnt a good reason not to work saturday.. but birthdays come with privledges damnit. and lynette called to wish me a happy birthday..and we talked for almost 2 hours...and thats whatever it was.. i knew shed call..because she never does..so to make up for her lack in my life.. her missing act as best friend she called.. becuase good boys and girls do what society expects them to. so she called and jamie never did. jamie. the one who usually fills lynettes abentee spot.. no one called today but lynette..and my mom. jamie.. jamie didnt call me.. me who was "the only other person to call her on her birthday' *sigh* and the other boy.. my misteress.. ive been trying to get him to i dunno..show signs of life for me.. and tonight.. tonight when hes wanting some..he asks when we're gonna hang out again.. i was wondering why he was being so kind... i like to eat my karma with my cereal.. but kim.. kim was sweet and sent me virtual cards..and complimeted my writing skill on my other page.. it was nice.. genuine compliments usually are.. and im being harassed by someone who swears they know me online... but they dont.. and if they do and my memeory is that bad.. i deserve a loss. and i have class soon.. too soon. more painting.. or pretending to. make me a dream. let me blow out all the candles. |