bleed on
10:16 pm on 05.05.06
hi. remember me? still alive. still breathing and feeling and afraid but growing and amazed and did i mention afraid? at the same time. i've easily written a dozen entries that never made it out here. i save the snippets in some half dream of one day making them into a zine. should. should. should. and i'm starting to think that i put things off not only because i'm afraid of failure, but because im equally afraid of success. maybe they're tied together. maybe if i tried and it was good, i wouldn't know what to do with it either. it's been a long time. and i am changed. things are changed. life is altered. and i guess it isn't all bad. but i never imagined this. which i suppose is exactly why it happened. and i've been making stuff again. which is good. and feels right. but also stirs things up. it mixes with the present and pours out in a mess.
i call that Bleeding Out the Memories. i'm glad it's spring. and i may or may not be growing a beanstalk in my living room.
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