a promise to myself.. its officially not fathers day anymore. i didnt really think about it much. i think im avoiding thinking about anything too much lately. im swimming in mediocrity. or maybe just floating in a shallow puddle.. i guess its all a matter of perspective. i watched some movie the other day.. and i cant even remember what it was.. except that a part of it made my heart hurt in that.. way. that intense new love way. maybe it wasnt even love. maybe it was just real live feeling and i was zapped to attention. ive been floating along not really paying attention to anything just enjoying the sun and the mellowness of life.. and i think im officially bored. and i dont know what my next move is.. but its something. because feeling nothing is not me. not knowing what day it is because theyre all the same is not me either. i dont have the answers. im still a work in progres.. but i think theres change coming. and my slacker ass is making it sooner than later. |