maybe i need less sleep more. sometimes i think that if you show a little effort.. a little begging.. and hell maybe a little leg.. the world feels bad for you and cuts you half a break. theres me.. silly procrastinating me waiting till the very last possible minute to somehow whip up a photoshop document that would some day grow into a real live homepage. maybe i had all thursday off and didnt do it. maybe i took a really long nap. maybe i waited till the last minute to go buy soda and ended up at the store at the same time as jamie not knowing it.. and then somehow used my last ten bucks on food.. and then maybe went to the atm to see that i was 47 cents short for the rent. damn you coca-cola! and perhaps because jamie is a gem, and we took a trip to uxie to get some money from the mem to cover our asses. and possibly i turned in a giant pile of scratch tickets otherwise known as my savings that equalled $17. i think we got back at 10pm.. when i decided.. hey! lets make a webpage! and maybe i forgot just how much of a process that was... getting the images you need.. and the right words. .and and and. and around 12 or 12:30am jamie was asleep in her bed with all the lights on and me here.. at her computer playing with superheroes in photoshop. maybe i felt bad mixed with knowing i wasnt going to really finish..so i called it a night. well. kinda. i mightve went online and tried to bribe a boy into making a page for me..but after the fact found out he was in the middle of his own depression spiral and didnt use what he gave me. maybe i got wrapped up in a different conversation trying to explain my stupid self.. and my backwards relationshiplike ways..fumbling over my own thoughts that never quite get out. sighing alot and really just wanting to hug. things shouldnt be so complex.. and the scarier part being that it could very well be myself making it more complex.. theres nothing like getting in your own way. but i wont give up as long as you dont. and maybe.. i didnt get to sleep till 4am.. and even then i kept dreaming about trains.. and they were making me draw the train or they wouldnt let me on..and it was all in sepia tones.. like the commuter rail of the wild west. and i knew that taking the early train to school to work on the project was the answer. even if i didnt want to admit it. and 6am came alot sooner after 4am than it really should. especially when mostof that 2 hours was fitfull dreaming..and maybe i actually did it. i made it to the 7am train.. and i got there early.. and i did a little work.. and he always picks on me. in a class of 7. guh. theyre talking about why people like human interaction better than computers.. like business wise..and problem solving wise.. and he calls and me.. and im like.. um me? and hes like.. i have to call on you over there in the corner.. (mind you theres another girl across the room further near the other corner.. but i guess i stick out) and im like.. why do people like humans more than computers? "um. i have no idea. .because i don't." i was just being honest.. everyone started laughing...and hes like so thats why youre in the corner!! hardeee har har pffft. so of course. of course who has to present their project first? me. duh. but oddly enough..even though i had like. .just the corner logo of the page done.. and some handwritten information architecture.. they liked it. he actually told me it was a really good idea. they laughed and started coming up with all these ideas.. when in doubt.. use superheroes. who knew? see. i even make school work harder on myself than it really is. i was convinced i would be ridiculed and look like a hack next to the graphic design majors.. and i didnt. and maybe i got home and got a message from kim. and maybe im going out for a birthday dinner tonight. rock on. i havent seen kim since her graduation party. and oh the stories that have built up since then.. we always have a good time..its hard not to.. and i could just keep on typing.. this is already more long winded than i had planned.. but sometimes you need the light little details that make the world go around. and maybe i really just need a nap. |