connect the dots la la la la i second guess my connections with people alot. today being a perfect example.. bright sunshine day.. with wind. no jacket necesary. and everyone just seemed carefree.. somehow i made it to the imfamous gallery this morning where as expected we sat and listened to the man drone on about paintings..if he said 'specificity' once he said it a million times. guh. but thats not my point. i did walk 4 blocks in the opposite direction of the gallery through all the other rows of snooty gallerys in the process.. i knew it would happen. but thats not my point either. the point being. her. this girl. i think ive mentioned her before. my cohort in crime in the painting studio from hell. shes crazy.. in that magnificent way that just makes me laugh. in that way that she is so like me i cant help but like her. she says the things that my inner voice thinks but that i hold back becuase of some society standard that i cant quite break down in my head. she says exactly what she thinks as she thinks it.. theres no contemplating is it right? theres no worry about reaction. its pure. i love it. so we've become friends.. and today we both snuck out the secret door early because its nice out.. and painting is overrated.. and i was mostly taking a nap..or day dreaming about taking a nap anyways.. so we leave. and talk and walk and get to the bus stop.. and theres some girl there that she already knows.. stranger to me. she introduces us.. blah blah. and they talk.. and i look at the sun.. and the bus comes..and we all sit in a row.. me and stranger and her. and stranger girl talks to her and not me.. and since painting girl is on the other side of the stranger she doesnt talk to me either.. so my mind starts to wander as the buildings float by.. and i hear the conversation but only half.. but in my mind its the best conversation since im not in it.. theyre talking about people i dont know..places i havent been.. and i think.. wow. they go way back. i feel like the third wheel.. or maybe the one who thought she was the second wheel but wasnt a wheel at all? what a poor analogy. i start thinking about other people on the bus. i start thinking we werent really friends ever and maybe i just wanted to be.. i think that i make things out to be bigger or more important more meaningful than it really is. all this turmoil in the matter of 25 minutes.. * we get off the bus.. all of us together.. they say goodbye and stranger girl walks away. she. the painting girl..she turns to me and she says.. i cant stand her. i laughed. i thought you guys were having some great conversation? hah. no she says.. she looks at me.. like it should be so obvious.. like i shouldve known by a sticker on her sleeve that only we can see that the girl wasnt one of us or something. she looks at me.. and she says.. 'you know.. she just doesnt get it.' i smiled. i love connections. i like when minds meld together along the same path.. i like when its not a figment of my imagination. |